Just Stop, Take a Break, and Then Get Up and Get Going.

  I have been told by some we are given our trials so that we can grow and learn from them. But at what point do we decide we can't grow anymore. That our hearts are to tired and heavy, that are minds are tired also. When we crawl into bed at night and look up and beg that nothing, good nor bad will be added to our lives because frankly we cannot take either at this time. All we ask is that we make it through the night. And that the four hours of sleep we have the chance to get will be sufficient enough to get us through tomorrow. 
At some point you have to grab a hold of reality and realize, this crap is not going away. You have to deal with it, you have to push through until it is over. You cannot just merely survive day in and day out, because that does not make it go away. Fighting, growing, learning, doing something makes these things work out.

The Weepies Have a song-

"Can't Go Back Now"

Can't Go Back Now (Weird Video, Best Song)

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get

You and me wak on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now 

I love this song, It have been played at lease 100 times in the past week. It seriously helps me keep my head above water everyday. Reminds me that I need to keep fighting. 

There has been a lot in the past few months, that have put me to a point where I literally thought I was going crazy. I broke down a few days ago. I am not talking about some teenage breakdown over a boyfriend, no I literally broke down to a point I was ready to check myself in somewhere because I was convinced I was crazy. I sat in the bathroom at my job and could not stop crying, at that point I realized I had to stop a lot of things. The main was letting life pass me by, yes it was easier to just watch things happen and deal with the minimum and not really deal with the issues at hand. But it was building up and tearing me apart from the inside out. I cannot believe how long it took me to realize how effected I was by all these things. My body was being physically affected, my personality had been affected, I was just not myself.  I guess when your trying to ignore the stresses in your life, you literally put everything on the back burner. I was disconnected from family, friends, work, my religion, but most importantly myself. I sat there in the bathroom looking in the mirror and I had no idea who I was looking at. It's scary to look at yourself and not know who you are, or why your going crazy. But its also a big motivation to get yourself back.  I believe my time in the bathroom is when I truly Stopped took a break, and after a while I decided it was time to get up and get going. Ever since then I feel like I am slowly getting myself back. It has been a rough time, but it has been 100% worth it. 

Lindy